clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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