Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
