btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
being pregnant is like rehab
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
