i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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