I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
there is puke in my bra ... again
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize