ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
