I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i don't like sucking hair
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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