What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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