i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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