I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
