So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
