At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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