My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
