I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
