You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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