maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
