He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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