Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
