it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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