Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

Um...??

(402): View more from Nebraska

She's excited

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?

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(443): View more from Maryland

That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!

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(231): View more from Michigan

A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games

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(530): View more from California

I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done

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