She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
