belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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