Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
