do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
