I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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