Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
