dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
