I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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