He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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