"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
