I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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