Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
