im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
