i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
