Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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