Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
