I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize