You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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