Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
whose ass print is on the piano?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
