the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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