Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize