i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
