Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize