She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
