i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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