Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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