Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
