Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
