franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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