I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
