his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
