I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
