Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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