Christians are straight up FREAKS
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
